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The Student News Site of Roger Williams University

The Hawks' Herald

The Student News Site of Roger Williams University

The Hawks' Herald

Stanley Cups flooding our lives

Courtesy+of+stanley1913.com
Courtesy of stanley1913.com

It started with the green and orange Gatorade bottles, then moved onto Hydroflasks, and now the evolution of the large, clunky, extra in every sense of the word water bottle, has become the Stanley Cup.

Stanley Cups are 40 ounce, vacuum insulated water bottles that have a straw and a handle that are able to fit into cup holders. These bottles are most popular with teenage girls and women in their early twenties. Users find that the handle is the most convenient part of a Stanley which allows them to carry it more easily than a typical water bottle. Most Stanley Cups retail for between $40 and $50 depending on the color and style.

Personally, I have never understood the justification of purchasing a $50 water bottle just to try and keep your ice a bit colder. A Hydro Flask is on average ten dollars less, which is still an absurd amount of money to pay for a water bottle, however, it does the exact same job as a Stanley Cup does. Also, there are better things in my opinion to spend $50 on than a water cup with a handle. $50 is ten large iced coffees at Starbucks. $50 could also purchase a cheap concert ticket. I implore you to think about that while you are sipping on your ice cold water.

There is also a strange trend going on around TikTok, specifically with Stanley Cups, where people will make flavored waters using the same syrups used to flavor iced coffee. I do not understand because at that point, you are not drinking water, you are drinking sugar and it potentially will pose health risks later on.

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Perhaps the largest opinion I have about Stanley Cups is their excessive size. Simply, who needs that much water on their person at any given time? The massive bottle also does not fit into side backpack pockets and therefore is required to be held in hand. I believe the chunkiness of a Stanley Cup and the protrusion of the square handle makes the water bottle even less convenient because if you bring it somewhere and you cannot put it in a backpack you will not have two free hands.

The final beef I have with Stanley cups is that there is no way to close the straw to prevent it from spilling. Imagine walking down the stairs, fumbling for your phone, then ending up with water all over the front of your sweater, then heading to class all wet. Not the best look.

Overall, I hope you take these points about the absurdity of Stanley Cups and how they are unrealistic water holding containers that are overpriced and over sized.

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About the Contributor
Lily Neves, News Editor
Lily has been the News Editor for the Hawks Herald since the Fall of 2023. She enjoys keeping the campus updated on the current events around campus. Lily is a Legal Studies and Political Science double major. Outside of the newsroom, Lily enjoys grabbing coffee with friends, working out, and watching sunsets.

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