I know, it’s been a while since we last talked. I couldn’t stay away from you any longer and we have plenty to discuss! For those of you who do not know who I am, my name is Stacy but I am most often referred to as Racy Stacy. I am here to share the raciest stories on campus as well as answer the uncomfortable questions that public high schools failed to answer. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved and I want to help make that possible. Sex in the real world is vastly different than Hollywood’s portrayal of the act as well as porn’s portrayal. Both of these can be harmful to young adults who are just starting to navigate their bodies and sex. We will have plenty of time to discuss all of these possible questions and scenarios but let’s start on a more tame note and let’s talk about a big step in a relationship, the first planned night together. This is an exciting step but can also be stressful for both of you. When deciding if you two are ready to share a cozy twin XL bed, make sure you are both ready by going through my handy checklist of things to address.

Make sure both of you are comfortable with the idea of spending the night together
Don’t spring the idea of spending the night on your significant other at the last moment especially if you two haven’t even discussed the idea in passing. If one of you is not comfortable but feels like you don’t have a choice, it can cause some issues in the relationship.

Choose a night that works for both of you
It would be ideal for both of you to have a clear schedule in the morning. You will both be in an unfamiliar situation so don’t expect a totally restful night. Remember that it is okay that the night does not go perfectly, relationships are all about learning how to adapt to new situations so both parties remain happy and can grow together.

Make compromises
Everyone has a bedtime routine that is specific to them. Make sure you both discuss your routines and make compromises if need be. If one person needs white noise to fall asleep and the other needs complete silence, compromises will have to be made. Communication is key in all aspects of a relationship.

Talk about what you are both expecting for the night
Don’t assume that by staying the night automatically you two will be having sex. Whether you two have already done it or waiting for the right moment, staying the night will not always end in sex. You can have the conversation once the night has already begun or before deciding when to have your sleepover, just don’t make an unwanted move. If you two do decide you want to get frisky but realize you don’t have protection, remember sex does not always mean penetration. Don’t be afraid to explore your own body and your partner’s body while together for the night. Whatever you decide to do, remember to be safe and clean.