Racy Stacy: Girls can have guy friends

"No offense guys, but we don't only like you for your penises."

Despite the unpopular belief, yes, girls can have guy friends, with no sex or romance involved. And I truly believe that guys can have girl friends too. I like some of my guy friends more than some of my girl friends. You guys are great at listening; I can vent to my guy friends all I want, and when I’m done, I know I’ll get an honest opinion. All throughout middle school and up until now, I have had two guy friends who I absolutely would not be able to live without. I’ve never developed feelings for either of them, and they’ve never developed feelings toward me either. We’ve had a mutual understanding about our friendship and it has worked out perfectly for many years. I know I can count on my boys for anything and I have no doubts that they will come to my rescue any time I need them. I would do the same thing for them. Oftentimes, you guys are so much less drama than our usual group of girl friends, and you give it to us straight too. If we ask you the looming question, “Does this make me look fat?” we know you won’t hesitate to say “yes”.

I’m not saying having a guy friend or guy friends is easy for everyone. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of failed guy friendships because feelings developed over time. I’m going to share a couple quick tips that have helped me with my guy friendships:

  1. Pick the right guy: If you choose a guy who is exactly your type and absolutely gorgeous, chances are, you’re going to end up falling for him. Pick a guy who is trustworthy, a good listener, and most of all, someone you could never see yourself with in the future. It can really suck if you start to develop feelings for a person because it complicates things. I’m not saying it can’t work out — because it totally can (I’ve seen it). However, sometimes, when feelings develop, one person doesn’t feel the same way. This can make things a bit (or a lot) more awkward, resulting in the end of the friendship.
  2. Be honest with yourself: It’s easy to tell yourself you don’t have feelings for someone, so make sure you pay attention and listen to your heart. Don’t push the feelings down just because you’re scared of losing the friendship. This brings me to my next point…
  3. Don’t beat yourself up if you catch feelings: Catching feelings is nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of us have trouble not getting feelings for our guy friends because it’s so nice to have someone who cares about us like that. I’ve had guy friends in my life who have treated me better than my ex-boyfriends, so it’s easy to understand why girls develop feelings. The feeling of companionship is very strong with girl-guy friendships, so don’t be too hard on yourself when you find yourself falling for the guy who’s always there for you.
  4. If you catch feelings, tell him: The worst thing you can do is hold these feelings in. In middle school, I was majorly crushing on one of my guy friends and I didn’t tell him for years. I was a little bit of an ugly duckling, so I figured he would never like me like that, so I kept my feelings hidden from him for the longest time. I watched him date girls who weren’t me and I watched him get his heart broken time after time, and it killed me. I ended up telling him in high school, and we’re still best friends today (See?! Happy ending!). There are no more feelings between the two of us and we get along great. Be honest with your friend — you never know what could come of it.