Racy Stacy: What to do when you get dumped

Steps for moving on after a hard break-up

Breakups are never easy, especially when you’re the one who gets dumped. Sometimes these things are easily predictable but other times, you’re completely blindsided and never even have a chance to see it coming. People change their minds on a dime, and when they decide they don’t want to be with you anymore, it can really hurt. Whether you’ve been dating for a month or a year, there is no way to avoid heartbreak. When you get dumped, you totally have the right to curl up in the fetal position and cry your eyes out until you feel like there are no tears left. You can shovel spoonful after spoonful of ice cream into your mouth while binge watching Netflix. You can stay in bed all day and only get up to use the bathroom or get food. You can listen to sad songs that will for sure only make you feel worse. But after all that is over, it’s time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. It’s a lot easier said than done, and I’m going to spare you the “everything happens for a reason” spiel because I totally don’t believe in that. But, I’ll lend you some helpful tips on how to get over that very special someone who broke your heart.

  1. Take time to be sad. It’s so important to realize that it’s okay to be sad. You don’t want to ignore all the things you’re feeling and push them down. Bottling up all your emotions is guaranteed to make you feel awful and also may cause a huge mental breakdown in the very near future. Give yourself some time to feel heartbroken, miserable, angry, sad, frustrated, confused, and everything in between.

  2. Ask for help. Confide in your friends and family to help you get through this process. When my ex boyfriend dumped me, I heavily relied on my family and friends, and I never wanted to be alone. Going out with friends and venting to them can make you feel so much better, and even a good crying sesh can be helpful once in a while. You don’t want to go through this healing process on your own; it takes time and having a great support system is super important.

  3. Learn about yourself. Take this breakup as a lesson and think about what you want, and more importantly, what you deserve. Sometimes, we don’t realize how we deserve to be treated until we take a step back from our relationships and look at them more intently. You may find that you weren’t quite as happy as you thought you were, or that you deserve better than what you were getting. You’re going to learn a lot about what you want from a significant other after a breakup and you also may find yourself going through some personal changes as well.

  4. Do NOT text them. Do not call them. Do not show up at their door begging them to take you back. Do. Not. They made this decision and they don’t need to know how sad and miserable you are without them. Stay strong and resist any urges to curse them out or beg for forgiveness via text or Twitter DM. You don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you.

  5. Virtually delete them from your life. Delete all photos and unfollow on all social media. Seeing them all happy and dandy without you is only going to hurt more, and the pictures will be a miserable reminder of how happy you once were. Spare yourself from going crazy with the stalking and just unfollow them, it will make your life a lot easier.  

  6. Move. On. It might seem impossible, but you really need to put one foot in front of the other and carry on with your life. They are not the only good thing you have, so find the other things that make you happy and focus on them. Don’t waste your time constantly thinking about what went wrong. It’s also possible it has nothing to do with you. You will find someone who makes you happy, it’s just not with this person.

My mom always tells me “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince” and she’s totally right (duh, moms are always right). I may have thought that I was going to be with my ex for a very long time, but I know better things are coming, and you need to remember that too. Stay strong and keep your head up.

XOXO,

Stacy.