Racy Stacy: Let’s talk break-ups

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Break-ups are never easy. Whether they happen between you and your significant other of several years or the hottie you’ve been steadily hooking up with for months, they suck. Obviously, there is a huge difference between the two situations, which means there are also very different ways to handle ending the relationship (or whatever you call it).

  1. Don’t put it off. If you are in a situation where you are unhappy, just call it quits. Procrastinating and drawing it out will only make things worse and leave you even more miserable. Be honest with the person and let them know how you’re feeling and why you think it isn’t working. You never know, being open with them might give you both the ability to fix what’s broken. It’s better to do this before you break up with them to see if anything changes for the better after you talk. It’s also unfair to the other person to string them along when you know for a fact you no longer want to be in a relationship.
  2. Communicate. You don’t have to tell the whole truth, because sometimes it isn’t entirely necessary, but it is very important to tell the other person what you’re thinking (without hurting their feelings too much). They’ll never know how to fix it and they will never understand what you are going through unless you tell them what’s going on. Breaking someone’s heart is a terrible feeling but it will save them (and you) a lot of pain in the long run.
  3. Be kind but quick. Dragging it out is only going to make things worse, so say what you have to say nicely, but don’t turn it into a super long conversation about where everything went wrong. If you’re at the point where you are ready to break up with someone, you’ve (hopefully) already had a discussion where you addressed the problems and tried to fix them. There’s no sense in repeating that when you know nothing is going to change.
  4. Be prepared for all sorts of different reactions. There might be crying, there might be swearing, and there might be a lot of anger and frustration. Don’t take it personally if they say horrible things in the moment. Everyone reacts differently to being heartbroken, and the reactions are almost never pleasant. Try to empathize with them and understand that they are hurting and not take anything personally.
  5. Once you end it, END IT. There is no sense in talking every single day. There is really no reason to talk at all. Give yourself and your significant other some space and figure out what it’s gonna be like without that person. It will allow you to spend some time for yourself and figure out if you can live without them.