As a teenage girl, an expected core memory is watching Disney princess movies as a child. Instead, I spent most of my childhood watching PBS Kids. After my roommate made this discovery, she was appalled and added all the Disney Princess movies to a very long list of things I needed to watch. We started our journey by watching her two favorites, Mulan, and Princess and the Frog, then continued to watch the rest in release order. We decided to only watch the ones my roommate deemed the “real” Disney princess movies, skipping movies like Brave, Moana, Frozen I & II, Raya The Last Dragon, and Wish. 

Mulan (7/10)

So Mulan is transgender, and Li Shang is bisexual but too scared to come out… I was surprised and intrigued that Disney chose to tackle the big topics of gender norms and internalized homophobia. But besides the interesting psychological aspects of Mulan, it was meh. Overall it was averagely entertaining, most of the entertainment value coming from Mushu, the small but mighty fire-breathing dragon. And it gets an extra point for how Disney chose to include a Princess who was breaking gender norms while being confident in her femininity.

Princess and the Frog (8/10)

As a Black girl, I was always told that Tiana was “my” Disney Princess. Despite us both being Black, we didn’t have that much in common. Her decisions and her personality aren’t something I can relate to – kissing a slimy frog is gross. The lack of conversation in the movie about Jim Crow and racism in the time period is just something I can’t get behind. If Disney can include war, abuse, parental death, and more, then they can include something about the racism at the time. The plot line was semi-interesting, I wasn’t expecting the white dude to change races and become Naveen. I’m not a fan of frogs and other animals so that was a downgrade, but it was good enough for me and my roommate to decide that next Halloween we will be dressing up as Tiana and Lottie.

Snow White (3/10)

I was so lost. One second she’s chilling with the dwarfs, then you blink, and it’s over she got married and is living happily ever after. I hate the timing, and I hate the dude (whatever his name is, it was so fast at the end I can’t remember) overall very disappointing. I don’t know why Disney bothered to make another Princess movie after the hot mess Snow White was. BORING. I mean Snow White is cute and all but the movie itself is way overhyped. It will be interesting to watch the live-action with Rachel Zegler.

Cinderella (4/10)

Now I had never watched the original Cinderella movie, but I have seen a multitude of “A Cinderella Story” movies on the Disney Channel. So I had a basic understanding of the plot line, and all the Cinderella story Disney Channel movies were better than the original. The original was basic and boring, but the timing issues were slightly improved from that seen in Snow White. Though the most interesting scene was seeing Cinderella’s evil stepsisters try on the glass slippers, and their feet being three times the size, so crazy and totally fetishizing small feet.

Sleeping Beauty (5/10)

I came into Sleeping Beauty with basically no knowledge of any events. I was disturbed when I realized her prince, who was about 9 years older than her, was definitely a little bit pedophilic. I liked the three moms/aunts/fairy godmothers, and their tedious little fights trying to make everything better for Aurora. Overall kinda average had its cute moments but was missing a lot of pizzazz.

The Little Mermaid (6/10)

I was expecting an animated Love Island, a bunch of hot idiots fighting over an average-looking man. Unfortunately, it was only 2 hot idiots, less than expected, very disappointing. Eric was not as hot as I anticipated, having heard that he was the hottest prince. The plot line was pretty predictable until Ursula changed bodies, but the timing was much improved compared to Snow White and Cinderella.

Beauty And The Beast (9/10)

Now I had seen the live-action Beauty and the Beast when it came out in theaters. But the animated version was much better than expected. I LOVE Chip, he was so cute and had the best lines. I am also a sucker for a grumpy/sunshine love story so when Belle and the Beast fall in love it warms my heart, and when he turns human again, SO HOT. Best “prince” by far. Gaston was an easily hated villain, why do men think having a thick neck is hot, it’s not. Gaston really needed an ego check and the Beast delivered. Overall, I was impressed.

Aladdin (6/10)

Well, I definitely didn’t expect this movie to start off talking about hookah. Nor did I realize it was about Aladdin, not Jasmine, despite clearly seeing the title. From right off the bat I really liked Aladdin as we get to see his character way more than any of the other “princes”, but he definitely lost some points with all the lying. The music and Iago, the bird, were highlights. I love a character with some blatant realism that I can actually relate to. I would give some chops to Disney for trying to diversify their characters, but they did a horrible job in actually portraying the culture of the area.

Pocahontas (4/10)

Starting off I knew I would be severely offended by Pocahontas, having learned about the true history in APUSH. Then I realized that John Smith didn’t even have a British accent, very disappointing. Like if I’m gonna watch a racist movie let them at least have a British accent, i.e. Harry Potter. Finally when Pochahontus and John Smith actually meet their language barrier magically is broken through sexy looks and flowy leaves, how realistic… Governor Ratcliffe also has an uncanny resemblance to Captain Hook, specifically in Jake and the Never Land Pirates animated TV show. I was really hoping during the fight scene that Kocoum or Thomas would kill John Smith, but unfortunately, I had no such luck. Later on, my dream almost came true when the Walmart Captain Hook shot him by accident, though regrettably, he did survive. BTW, I am glad Pochahontus and John Smith did not get their happily ever after, he sucks.

Rapunzel (9/10)

So I didn’t want to be a basic girl who loves Tangled, but now I can for sure claim that title. I love all the things, Rapunzel (especially baby Repunzal), Pascal, Flynn, the amazing music that’s perf for jamming out, the little girls who braid Rapunzals’ hair, and more. Flynn is such a cutie pie I love him, and he can actually sing unlike all the other “princes”. He’s just barely below the Beast for my favorite Disney “prince,” only because he’s a thief. This movie gets bonus points for actually having the “prince” and “princess” get to know each other before making out and getting married. Overall definitely one of the best princess movies, though I would argue that there is a suspicious amount of feet in this movie. So much so that my roommate joked that “maybe that guy from Nickelodeon worked on it.” But they did almost get me at the end there, I was ready to fight Disney, but thankfully I got the happy ending I wanted.

Final Thoughts:

I did not miss anything as a child. I would only go back and watch four out of the ten movies. Disney did not live up to the hype. Overall this adventure made me go through a roller coaster of “I hate Disney” to “They’re so cute.” I don’t regret this endeavor but my life has not been impacted. But as a future teacher, I now know that I will actively avoid showing my students these movies based on the horrible morals, and standards Disney advertises for young girls. But I still love Marvel movies, despite them being owned by Disney.